I'm anything but infallible
by BellaElizabeth
Summary: It's Alice's vision and the reactions of the Cullens as she sees Bella jump. Ch. 3 is underlined and i'm not sure why. Chapter 5 & 6 will be up before Christmas! I'm not sure how many it's going to take. Alice thinks a lot!
1. Chapter 1

I watched my family around the living room in Tanya's house. Even for the creatures we were, living was the last thing any of us were doing. I looked at Esme staring at blue prints but her heart wasn't into it. She was only trying to act like herself for Carlisle's sake. Carlisle wasn't any better, as he sat staring off into space a book in resting on his knee. I looked out the window and saw Emmett casually tossing a baseball up staring out into the woods and the snow. Rosalie was with him, trying to convince him to go hunt with her. The only thing effecting her was the fact that everyone else was miserable because _he_ was miserable. Jasper sat next to me and I felt bad for him he felt all the emotions I was just witnessing. I also felt like he was blaming himself somewhat for the domino effect that had set these events in motion.

I just sat there and witnessed it.

They all hoped that soon a vision would come, Edward deciding to come back. Edward deciding that he needed his family or that he couldn't be without Bella anymore. Any sign that Edward was active, but he wasn't. Every little flicker of my visions I'd get Esme's eyes looking at me intensely hoping just for me to tell her no, he hasn't budged. Literally, he just sat in an attic somewhere South for the past month or so. Maybe it had been longer, it was a miserable existence not matter how you saw it.

If he would just let himself waver, if he would just accept the fact that he needed Bella then he'd be happy again. Why did he have to be so stubborn??

Suddenly Bella's face was filling up my mind, only it couldn't have been Bella. She looked so sad, so broken, and frail. Her long brown hair was tousled around her face and blowing in the wind and rain. She was outside and up high. I didn't recognize where she was but it was familiar looking. Her face was so pale there was no sign of life in her features. No slight blush in her cheeks. She was thin, Bella was so thin. Her clothing hung on her body awkwardly, like it had once fit but now was out of proportion. Bella also had the darkest circles under her eyes. Not the type that would go away with a good sleep, they were a mark of something in her life. A loss of something. Which brought me to her eyes, Bella's eyes, once curious with life and questions. They were dark and they seemed dead inside. Her eyes held no semblance of the Bella I knew the Bella I loved. But I knew Bella anywhere and there she was.

I gasped out at the sight of her.

I was aware of my family staring at me, Jasper grabbed my hand.

"Alice," he asked his voice was worried, I wondered if what I was seeing was apparent on my face, "what do you see Alice? What is it?"

Suddenly Carlisle and Esme were closer to me with Rosalie and Emmett behind me eager to know but also worried.

I continued to see Bella, why was she so high up? She took a step and I saw it, she was up on a high cliff. I could see the ocean, there was a harsh storm. The clouds were dark and the waves crashed violently against each other. She was staring into the clouds her feet guiding her to the edge when she smiled. This wasn't a happy smile Bella was smiling at a thought in her head. I saw the corners of her mouth twist darkly and I saw her eyes flicker with the same emotion. This was reckless and dangerous. She knew it and she was ok with it. This was unlike Bella, why was she on that cliff?

She closed her eyes and continued to smile to herself. It was like she was enjoying some twisted joke with herself. She rolled onto the balls of her feet on the edge of a cliff. Bella, alone, reckless, on a cliff.

"No Bella," I yelled at my own mind. My own vision. I could see her so clearly for the first time in months and I could do nothing to stop her.

"Alice, what is Bella doing?" I heard Carlisle voice, laced with worry, but couldn't manage to answer him. The vision wasn't over yet.

I knew what was coming I was hoping she wasn't going to be this foolish. She was smiling still and raising her arms out, she was going to dive off this cliff. I saw Bella lift her tragically beautiful face to the rain letting it cover her. I saw her. She leaned forward and then she jumped.

I let out a shaky ragged breath in the form of a gasp. Bella jumped off a cliff.

She was falling and screaming down into the water, I could see it. I saw her hit the water hard. Then she was fighting the current, she was alone and fighting the ocean.

I saw the black water tumble over her and I saw her fighting and swimming in all directions. Then she wasn't fighting anymore she seemed content with letting the water entrap her. She was flung hard against a rock but still she didn't fight. Bella was under the black water now and then gone.

"'No, no Bella fight," I said, feeling Jasper grip me tightly.

I closed my eyes searching for Bella. Searching for her to come up out of the water but I couldn't see her. There was like a block right after her going into the black water. She was gone.

I opened my eyes and saw my family staring at me.

"Alice, what was it? Bella?," Esme's voice was shaky.

"Alice?," I looked over at Jasper, his face was nothing but concern for what I had seen. He knew it had to be bad. He could feel what I was feeling. I was mourning. I had just lost a friend. I had just lost someone I one day hoped would be my sister. And it hit me, when Edward found out I'd lose him too. We all would.

"I--I saw Bella," I said to no one. They would take this hard. All of them, except Rosalie but I couldn't focus on her now. "She was so sad looking, she looked so frail, even for a human. Sh-sh-she was on a cliff--" I was seeing it in my head again. I dared to look up again. Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett were in front of me, Jasper to the side, and Rose was behind me. She did seem somewhat concerned but that was it.

"What happened Alice?" it was Emmett this time. All his good humor gone from his voice, he seemed to know what was coming next. He needed to hear it. He had loved her too.

"She was on a cliff and--and she jumped" saying the words aloud hurt and I had to say the last part, they had to know. "She hit the water and then--and now-- I can't see her anymore." That part all but ripped my heart out. She was gone.

"Oh no, no, not Bella." Esme let out a broken tearless sob. Carlisle wrapped his arms around her. "Edward will be so--oh no--Edward."

Jaspers eyes never left my face, but his question was directed at Carlisle.

"How do we tell him?"

Emmett looked over at Rosalie, Carlisle eyes on Esme, Jasper looking at me. All three of them were considering the exact same scenario in their own minds.

"I don't know how we tell him this Emmett. It'll kill him." Carlisle said.

"We should be honest with him," it was the first time I'd heard Rosalie speak. "He has the right to know. We should just tell him so he can stop being so miserable and come home."

I just glared at her.

"No," Carlisle said, "we'll tell him yes, but we'll wait until he comes home. He deserves this news in person rather than over the phone. No one is to tell him. We don't want him doing anything, rash," I was thinking the same thing. I remembered a minor flash I had seen of him a year ago in Phoenix. If Bella had died then, he had been planning on following. He was planning on dying. I knew that when Edward found out -- I pushed the thought from my mind. It was too hard to consider.

"Has he changed his course yet Alice?" Carlisle asked, pain lacing his voice breaking through my own thoughts.

"No, he hasn't moved from where he is. He's still somewhere in South America." I saw Edward in my head. He was just as broken as Bella. He had been in the same spot so many times I had looked for him.

"Charlie.." was my next thought, I didn't mean to say it out loud. I thought of Charlie all alone and Bella gone. "He'll need help" I stood up. I was determined to help him through this

"Alice, you can't go. It's too late anyways," Jasper stood with me. "Edward told us to not interfere--" I cut him off.

"Not to interfere with Bella's _life_ anymore. She's gone Jazz, she's dead. I told Edward that this would happen. I told him that it would eventually lead to Bella doing something so human. I predicted it without seeing it months ago. I never got to say good bye to her Jazz, never. I just had to leave her. We all did--" I looked around at my family, none of them had gotten to see Bella again since her birthday-- "and now we'll never get a chance. I'm going to help Charlie in Forks Jasper. It's the least that any of us can do. We left his daughter hurt and alone. Now she's gone. I'm going."

"Alright Alice," was all he said. He didn't think I should go but he knew that he would lose that fight.

"Thank you Jazz," I turned to Carlisle, "I shouldn't be gone long, just long enough to help Charlie out. Make this as easy on him as possible."

"I'll call the airlines and get you on the next flight out," he was gone now Esme got up and followed him out.

Emmett got up angrily next and walked furiously to the door, "She was supposed to be our sister Alice, she was supposed to be one us and with Edward forever."

"I know Emmett, but I'm not infallible. I'm anything but that," I looked down thinking over Emmett's words. She was _supposed _to be and now that was a future that could never be.

Emmett darted out the door and into the woods. I saw him, he was going to uproot a few hundred year old trees and take some of his aggression out on some grizzlies.

"Jazz? Would you mind going with him?" I asked him "he may need someone to help keep him calm."

"No, I'll go with him," he came to me first and hugged me tightly. I kissed his cheek then his lips.

"I'll be home soon, I promise. I just have to do this. I have to do something."

"I know, it's ok. I'll see you when you get back. I love you."

"I love you too."

And then he was off chasing after Emmett into the woods.

Then it was just me and Rosalie, I couldn't see what she was going to do next. She wasn't sure in her decision. She was thinking of telling Edward.

"Don't Rose," I said.

"It's a natural thought to be thinking about Alice," was all she said before adding, "Don't you have a plane to catch?"

She was right.

I left. Off to say good bye to my best friend. I had one thought and I wished he was around to hear it.

_Edward, you idiot._


	2. Chapter 2

The plane ride from Alaska to Washington wasn't a long one but it seemed to take endless minutes for me. Time couldn't move fast enough.

I didn't notice much. I was too preoccupied going over every move since we had left Forks all those months ago. I told him when he decided that it wasn't a smart move. Bella couldn't handle it and that he couldn't handle it. She loved him too deeply, too fully, she was part of him and he was part of her. Why couldn't he just accept that he couldn't live with out her?

I had been so certain that he would eventually falter. He'd have to go back and check on her. That path had been dangling in front of him for months now. He fought it but it was there. All he had to do was make that choice and I could have seen it. Edward, he was too stubborn.

I leaned back against the head rest of my seat and stared out at the dark clouds.

He wasn't going to take this well. He would do something extreme. I remembered seeing it in Phoenix. The moment he saw that Bella wasn't with us and I told him what I saw. The vision flashed, two choices, she was alive and he would be reunited with her.

The other choice wasn't a pleasant one. Edward would seek death, one way or another, he would find away to join her. He couldn't live without Bella. He wouldn't "exist in a world she wasn't in."

I shook that from my mind. Instead, my thoughts filled with Bella's broken face. She looked so terrible.

"I'm sorry Bella, I should've been there" I whispered to myself. If it was possible for me to cry I was certain I'd be sobbing right now.

I had let myself grow so close to her. I so badly wanted her to be my sister. She had been my best friend and I loved her so much. I left her to bleed and eventually it just over took her. I knew it would.

I heard the captain announce we'd be landing shortly. Under different circumstances I'd of been all too eager to get back to Forks. Now, it didn't matter how fast I got there I'd be too late.

I exited the plane and went to the car rental place and picked up a car. Black Mercedes, tinted windows, just in case. I drove so fast it was a blur. I got to Forks in record time. I drove to Bella's and parked across the street. No cars were there. I gripped the steering wheel tightly. I had to help Charlie. I had to help him through this. Then, I had to somehow hope that Edward could be convinced to not do something stupid. We all had already lost a sister and a daughter. I knew Esme and Carlisle had long since thought of Bella that way. Emmett, Jasper, and I loved Bella as our sister. We had all hoped her to be part of our family. We didn't need to lose Edward too.

I got out of my car and stared at the house I knew so well.

_Edward, you idiot. I told you she wasn't going to be able to handle this._

I walked to the door and got the key down easily. As I stepped inside I was immediately hit with the familiar scents of Bella. She had been here not too long ago. I stood in her kitchen, I missed my friend and wished I could break down and cry.

Then I heard something, a truck, I knew that truck it was Bella's truck. I heard it stop outside. It started up again suddenly pulled away fast then idled down the street. It sounded like Bella's, it was coming back and stopped in the drive way.

I heard the familiar sound of stumbling footsteps in my mind and then I saw it a flash, Bella alive and walking to the door.

She got to the door and I walked to the hallway staring straight ahead and afraid to move.

The door opened and a shaking hand turned on the light.

Bella. Alive, for lack of a better word.


	3. Chapter 3

"_Alice, oh, Alice!" she cried as she ran right into me. _

_Bella was here right next to me. Bella was alive. My mind reeled with a thousand different thoughts and emotions._

"_Bella?" I was afraid that she would disappear and this would be a warped reality. I was so relieved and happy I was also so confused. Why hadn't I seen her alive? She had just disappeared from my view. _

_Bella's arms were locked around me and it felt like she was breathing me and trying to hang on for dear life. She started to sob, with depression or happiness I wasn't sure. I pulled her to the living room and on the couch. I let her sob. She felt so light and fragile. She looked worse than my vision had shown her. I just let her sob as she began to control herself._

_Then her scent hit me, and I had forgotten how thirsty I was. She smelt so good. She smelt so appetizing. My throat burned._

"_I'm …sorry," she finally managed to get out, "I'm just… so happy… to see you!" I was so happy to see her but her proximity to me right now was trying to overshadow how happy I was. At least her strong scent meant she was a live. I strained to control myself._

"_It's okay, Bella. Everything's okay." I said as I held my breath. I had to keep control of myself. I wasn't about to discover my best friend was alive just to kill her myself. That would go over great with Edward. He was already going to want to kill me for coming to Forks to begin with. _

"_Yes." she gasped out. She seemed to mean it to._

_I sighed which was a big mistake, her scent hit me again. _

"_I'd forgotten how exuberant you are."_

_She looked at me then, and it seemed to click in her face. I was stiff and straining against her trying to fight any urges I had to taste her. "Oh, sorry."_

_She hurriedly released herself from me, staying close, but making it easier to control my urges by not having he cling to me. I didn't want her blaming herself._

"_It's my own fault. It's been too long since I hunted. I shouldn't let myself get so thirsty. But I was in a hurry today," which reminded me why I was here in the first place. Why I had not gone hunting with Jasper like I had planned. I glared over at her, "Speaking of which, would you like to explain to me how you're alive?"_

_She abruptly stopped sobbing. Her eyes wide, they looked more alive than they had in my vision. She looked like I had just caught her doing something she shouldn't have been doing. Something she had promised not to._

"_You saw me fall," she said too loudly. Fall? I stared at her. Fall off a cliff. _

"_No," I corrected her, and stared at her more intently. "I saw you __jump_" she never had been a good liar, but lying to a person who can see what you do when you decide it was just silly. 

She didn't answer me. She just bit her lip and looked like she was mulling over her words in her head. She wasn't denying that she had jumped off a cliff into oblivion. I shook my head, I couldn't believe what Edward had done. He left her and drove her to this.

"I told him this would happen, but he didn't believe me. 'Bella promised'" imitating my brother perfectly. I noticed Bella freeze and her arms suddenly gripped her sides tightly as I did this, she looked like she was in pain but I kept going, "'Don't be looking for her future either, we've done enough damage.'" I continued. Thinking of all the times he swore to me that Bella had promised to not hurt herself or do anything reckless.

"But just because I'm not looking, doesn't mean I don't _see_. I wasn't keeping tabs on you, I swear Bella. It's just that I'm already attuned to you… when I saw you jumping I didn't think, I just got on a plane. I knew I would be too late, but I couldn't do nothing. And then I get here thinking maybe I could help Charlie somehow, and drive you up." But she's here.. Bella is alive. Why didn't I see that she was alive? She jumped. I saw her jump and she never came out. "I saw you go into the water and I waited for you to come up, but you didn't. What happened? And how could you do that to Charlie? Did you stop to think what this would do to him?" It would kill Charlie to lose Bella. He loved her so much almost as much as Edward. Edward. 

"And my brother? Do you have _any_ idea what Edward--" She cut me off then. Still gripping her sides, when I said his name it looked like I had just punched her hard.

"Alice, I wasn't committing suicide." 

"Are you saying you didn't jump off a cliff?" I said doubtfully. I had seen her jump. I just hadn't seen her live.

"No but-- it was for recreational purposes only."

Because sane people jump off high cliffs all the time into hurricanes. I stared at her and waited for the rest of this explanation.

"I'd seen some of Jacob's friends cliff diving, it looked like--" insanity? Was the word I was waiting for it.--"fun and I was bored"

Bella bored so she decides to jump off a cliff. I wasn't buying it and she could tell.

"I didn't think about how the storm would affect the currents. Actually I didn't think about the water much at all."

I remembered Bella's twisted dark smile. What had she been thinking about then?

"So if you saw me go in, why didn't you see Jacob?" she asked, trying to change the subject slightly.

I looked at her strangely. Seen Jacob?

She looked back at me, seeming confused, "It's true that I probably would have drowned if Jacob hadn't jumped in after me. Well, okay there's not probably about it. But he did, and he pulled me out, and I guess towed me back to shore, though I was kind of out for that part. It couldn't have been more than a minute that I was under before he grabbed me. How come you didn't see that?"

A minute? I should have seen that. I should have seen her come out. Someone pulled her out.

"Someone pulled you out?" I was so confused. I hadn't realized I said it out loud.

"Yes. Jacob saved me."

I smelt it then. It had been mixed with Bella's scent when I first saw her. I hadn't noticed it then, I was too focused on Bella being alive. It was a warm musky scent. Like a dog on a hot summer day smell. Someone had pulled her out and she didn't smell fully like Bella, I leaned in and smelt her shoulder.

No. She definitely did not smell fully like Bella. Could she know what she smelt like? She smelt like a werewolf.

"Don't be ridiculous" I muttered. I had to be sure.

"What are you doing?" I didn't want to alarm her. She looked so frail. I instead avoided the question. I'd seen Edward do it loads of times.

"Who was with you out there just now? It sounded like you were arguing."

She looked at me and a change of emotion flickered on her face. Hope, sadness, defiance, betrayal, and pain. "Jacob Black. He's… sort of my best friend. I guess. At least… he was."

Jacob Black. Ephraim Black. Quileute's. This cannot be a coincidence. Bella's smell. I nodded at her. So much to think, what had we left her to deal with?

"What?"

"I don't know, I'm not sure what it means." 

Even _if _it was all related. Why couldn't I see him? 

"Well I'm not dead, at least" she said in her Bella look on the Brightside voice. 

She's not dead, but what had we left her to deal with? She still looked awful. And she had jumped. She was being reckless. Why she was I wasn't sure, but she was. Promise or no promise, Edward, she wasn't keeping it.

"He was a fool to think you could survive alone. I've never seen anyone so prone to life threatening idiocy." Vampires, cliffs, and now possibly werewolves.

"I survived," she pointed out, stating more than just this latest episode.

She had because Jacob Black had pulled her out, he had the strength to pull her out. 

"So, if the currents were too much for you, how did this Jacob manage?" I eyed her wondering if she knew what she could be dealing with. Was she so prone to danger?

"Jacob is… strong." She was thinking of something. I eyed her carefully. She was hiding something. She sighed and I waited, she was going to tell me.

"See, well, he's… sort of a werewolf. The Quileute's turn into wolves when there are vampires around. They know Carlisle from a long time ago. Were you with Carlisle back then?"

She knew. Bella knew what she was running around with. I hadn't been with Carlisle then, but I knew all about it. The treaty. All of it. She knew.

"Well I guess that explains he smell," I muttered, "but does it explain what I didn't see?" Could I not see the werewolves.

"The smell?" Bella of course couldn't smell it.

"You smell awful" I absently answered her. She was running around with werewolves. "A werewolf? Are you sure about that?" I'm going to kill Edward. Safer with out us. Ha, I'd love to see him defend this.

"Very sure," and she wasn't lying. "I guess you weren't with Carlisle the last time there were werewolves in Forks?:

"No I hadn't found him yet."

Bella and werewolves. Bella was best friends with a werewolf. Oh my, Bella was--

"Your best friend is a werewolf?" I was shocked, how long had she known about all of this.

She just nodded.

"How long has this been going on?" I asked, I needed to know everything.

"Not long, he's only been a werewolf a few weeks." She was a little defensive about this Jacob Black. A few weeks? He was young? His temper? Bella? Edward you idiot! I thought again for the millionth time today.

"A young werewolf? Even worse! Edward was right--you are a magnet for danger. Weren't you supposed to be staying out of trouble?" Promising to not do anything dangerous or reckless. His number one argument for keeping all of us away from you. 

"There's nothing wrong with werewolves," she had that defensive tone she used to have when she defended us to people. She loved them now too. She had no idea what she was dealing with.

"Until they lose their tempers. Leave it to you Bella. Anyone else would be better off when vampires left town. But you have to stat hanging out with the first monsters you can find." I swear, when I get a hold of Edward. I swear. Vampires leave her so she'll be safer and she meets werewolves? Safe from someone killing her but not safe from being mangled to death. How is this better. Plus, she protective of them.

"No, Alice, the vampires didn't really leave--not all of them anyways" her words broke through my thoughts. The family had left. Edward was sure of it. We all had left her to keep her safe. What did she mean?

"That's the whole trouble. If it weren't for the werewolves, Victoria would have gotten me by now." 

Victoria. James's mate. After Bella.

"Well if it weren't for Jake and his friends, Laurent would have gotten me before she could, I guess, so--"

Victoria and Laurent. Laurent almost gotten Bella. 

I hissed their names, "Victoria? Laurent?"

Dammit Edward. I knew he had lost track of Victoria months ago. But Laurent, he, he had left Denali. Irina was waiting for him to return. He was helping an old friend. We all had thought nothing of it. He went to help Victoria. She was going after Bella. She was going after Bella because we killed James. How could so much happen to one girl?

She nodded and pointed at herself "Danger magnet, remember?"

I just shook my head. Edward was trying to protect her from the wrong things. 

"Tell me everything, and start from the beginning."

I listened to Bella tell me everything. She sped up and glossed over some parts. I didn't like the sound of "boredom and cliffs" at all. I was wondering what other dangerous things she had been up to in the past months. What I didn't like even more how close Laurent and Victoria had gotten to killing her. Laurent leaving her in the meadow wanting to kill her. Cheating. I would have to tell Irina. I didn't like the sound of her life since we had left her. She got me up to speed quickly, her thoughts drifting after she told me about Harry Clearwater. She was worried about Charlie.

We had left her because Edward thought it would give her a chance at a normal life. Vampires hell bent on killing her and temperamental werewolves could not be what he had in mind.

"Our leaving didn't do you any good at all, did it?" 

I hoped she could tell me one thing. Just one good thing about her life. I hoped.

The sound she made next startled me. It was on the edge of hysterical. She was on the edge of losing her carefully put together image.

"That was never the point though, was it? It's not like you left for my benefit."

I scowled. Edward had told us that she believe him. That he didn't want her anymore. I couldn't believe him when he said those things. Bella had to know that he loved her more than anything, that everything he did was because he thought it best for her. Her words hit me though. She honestly didn't think he loved her. And now, I had come back to bring out the flood gates of hurt. Now, I would have to tell Edward what had happened, he would know I had interfered. 

"Well… I guess I acted impulsively today. I probably shouldn't have intruded."

Jasper didn't want me to go. He thought I should stay. I should have.

Suddenly I looked at Bella, and she looked horrible. There was no color in her face, she looked like she was again on the edge of hysterics. She was trembling and her hands were locking around my shirt collar. She was terrified.

"Don't go Alice," she started to hyperventilate, "Please don't leave me" she was breathing so hard just at the thought of me leaving. I couldn't believe how fragile she was. One thing could break her.

"All right," I said slowly, making sure she knew I wasn't going to just vanish. I wasn't going to leave her all alone… again. "I'm not going anywhere tonight. Take a deep breath." How could he expect me to leave her again? How could he of done it the first time? Me leaving couldn't be as bad as it was when he left her. How did he manage to just pull himself away from her? She looked so scared.I watched her try to regain her composure. She struggled hard with it. I noticed just how ragged she looked. All this pain was sealed up in her eyes. Her skin was almost translucent and she was so thin. Had she been eating? Sleeping? How bad had she been? I had to find out. I could go back home with news that Bella was breathing, but she was far from alive. I had already intruded. I might as well go all the way.

She finally seemed to calm.

"You look like hell, Bella." which was an understatement. She looked horrible.

"I drowned today," she reminded me making light of my statement.

"It goes deeper than that. You're a mess." She looked like she had had no peace in months. She looked as if she had just spent months being tortured and this brief reprieve only lessened the anguish. Bella looked like she was just slowly dying.

She flinched at my words, "Look, I'm doing my best." Her eyes were glossy with tears. Doing her best at what?

"What do you mean?" I wanted all the details of her anguish. Edward wasn't getting off that easy. I was going to hunt him down and make him look at her through my eyes.

"It hasn't been easy. I'm working on it." That's it, she couldn't do this. I knew it. She didn't know how to go back to being the Bella before Edward. She had changed too much. I told him.

"I told him" we all had. 

"Alice, what did you think you were going to find? I mean, besides me dead." If I had come back just to check on her, not thinking she was dead, what would I of found. "Did you expect to find me skipping around and whistling show tunes? You know me better than that?"

I did know her better than that. I had told Edward that too. I told him he knew her better than that. I told him that he was just putting both of them through unnecessary pain. However, I had hoped that somehow she may have been ok. I did want Bella to be ok.

"I do. But I hoped." We all had. Carlisle had said it after Edward left on his attempt to catch Victoria.

_Maybe she'll be ok. She's always surprised us._

"Then I guess I don't have the corner on the idiocy market." she laughed without humor and the phone rang.

"That has to be Charlie," she slowly got to her feet. She grabbed me and pulled me along with her. She was scared I'd vanish as he had. Scared I was just a dream. I hoped that me being her wouldn't hurt her more in the end.

She answered the phone, "Charlie?"

I heard the other voice, a deep man's voice, husky, "No, it's me"

"Jake!"

Ah, the young werewolf. She was happy to hear from him.

"Just making sure you were still alive," Jacob said bitterly. He was afraid I'd hurt her?

"I'm fine. I told you it wasn't--"

"Yea. I got it. Bye" click silence on the other end.

Bella sighed, "that's going to be a problem."

I squeezed her hand. "They aren't excited I'm here." It had nothing to do with Bella.

"Not especially, but it's none of their business anyways."

She was excited I was here. Oh what to do. I put my arm around Bella. I had made such a mess of everything.

"So what do we do now?" I said to no one in particular. I was including my whole family in that, even Bella. "Things to do. Loose ends to tie." I would need to tell the family she was fine. They would be happy and unhappy when they heard how bad she was. I'm not sure I would be able to stop Emmett and Esme from coming back. 

"What things to do?" Her words broke my thoughts. She was unaware of the mess.

"I don't know.. I need to see Carlisle." She got that panic look in her eyes again.

"Could you stay?" she was begging, she was panicked again. "Please? Just for al ittle while. I've missed you so much." She was near sobs again.

"If you think that's a good idea," oh Edward was going to be so unhappy. This may push her over the edge when I leave. She cannot possibly handle much more. Could she?

"I do. You can stay here--Charlie would love that."

I wasn't so sure. He may not be so welcoming towards the people that had left Bella. Us leaving had done the exact opposite of good.

"I have a house Bella," I said lightly. She nodded but she looked disappointed. She wouldn't' fight me. I couldn't hurt her more than she was.

"Well I need to go get a suitcase of clothes at the very least," I was unable to break her. I had to give her a little joy.

Her arms were around me then. "Alice, you're the best!" 

This little joy before I left her there was that appetizing scent again, she smelt so good. I held my breath.

"And I think I'll need to hunt. Immediately."

"Oops" she released me then.

"Can you stay out of trouble for one hour?" she was about to answer when I stopped her, I closed my eyes and looked at her near future. She was going to take a shower, and make some dinner for herself and Charlie. She'd be fine. For tonight, Bella would be fine. 

"Yes, you'll be fine. For tonight, anyway" I wondered how I was supposed to leave her now that I _knew_ she was suffering. It was one thing to think it, but I had witnessed it.

"You'll be back?" Her voice was small, panicked.

"I promise--one hour" I would hunt close by. Find something quick, quench my thirst and come back. I had to find out more answers over how bad she had been. She looked at the clock, I laughed, Bella would be counting down the minutes. I had missed her. I quickly kissed her on the cheek and took off to the woods, wondering, how deep her wounds ran.

How do I leave her again?


	4. Chapter 4

I darted fast out into the woods not caring to hunt for anything too specific I just wanted to be quick about it I ran for about fifteen minutes away from Bella's home. I was far enough away from civilization so that I would have very little chance of running into a stray human. I had promised Bella one hour and I'd return. I allowed myself to become a hunter then and released myself to my senses. I hunted, for what it didn't matter, I just hunted.

Ten minutes later I felt satisfied. I regained my composure. This was going to take less than an hour I thought happily. Despite how frail Bella looked I couldn't help but be happy to see her, I had missed her so much. Leaving her again, leaving her to loneliness and to throw her to the wolves (_literally_) would not be a good option. None of the family would think so. Emmett had been so angry and hurt when he thought she had died, I could only imagine how he would feel to know she was basically dead looking.

I didn't head straight back to Bella's house, instead I ran back to my own home. It was strange how easy and familiar everything looked. It felt very much like home. I entered the empty house. All the furniture had been moved to New York when Edward had decided to try this crazy venture except for one piece that remained. There it stood, his beautiful grand piano alone in a room and covered with a sheet. I sighed. I could hear Edward toying with the keys shaping out a beautiful tune that would fill the whole house

_Edward, she's not happy. She's so, broken._

I went up stairs to my room and grabbed what clothing I had left behind in my haste. The closets had remained stocked when we left. Everything had some reminder of Bella here. I grabbed a few things and tossed them in a bag. I looked at my watch, I had thirty minutes to return to Bella. I darted back to her.

I hurried back to Bella's home. She was in the kitchen cleaning up some dishes. She smelt exactly like Bella should. I was pleased that the shower had washed away that musky wet dog smell. The shower seemed to make her look more alive. It seemed to make her look a little more like herself but she was still so worn down looking. I entered her house quickly and easily. I doubt Bella even heard me.

I sat on the bed she had made out on the sofa. She hadn't forgotten that we had to blend in. That came as a happy surprise. She came into the living room and I couldn't help but smile at her. "Thanks," I said as I patted the makeshift bed. Her eyes seemed to light up when she saw me like she looked surprised I had to laugh a little. She looked almost as if she had tried to believe I wasn't real or wasn't coming back.

"You're early," Bella said with enthusiasm.

She came over to the sofa and sat down next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her. She was thin. I had to be even more careful that usual that I wouldn't break her. Whenever one of us touched Bella, Edward especially, we were careful not to crush her and touch her as any human would. However, now it seemed that if a human hugged her to tight she would shatter. How long had it been? Six? Seven months? How long had we left her too this miserable existence? And how much longer were we supposed to let her continue to live this way? Now that I had seen what I always knew I couldn't just leaver her to slowly die in misery. I couldn't and I wouldn't.

"Bella. What _are_ we going to do with you?" I said, wishing I could see the answer. If I left she'd break again and I was pretty sure there would be no way to put her back together. She was barely back together now.

"I don't know. I really have been trying my hardest," she said. She sounded like someone had given her an impossible job to complete but that she wanted to complete so badly. In a way, Bella had been given an impossible task.

"I believe you," was all I could say.

Carlisle, Esme, myself, everyone knew that Bella would try to do what everyone wanted of her. She would do her very best to please everyone. That much I was sure of. I was sure that this was as put together as Bella could manage.

I sat there holding her in the silence wondering how she had been. If this was Bella trying to hold it together after months then how bad had she been before she got to this point?

"Does---does he…" Bella seemed to be struggling hard with her words.

"Does Edward know you're here?"

The moment she uttered his name it looked as if someone had stabbed her right in the heart and twisted the blade. She gulped right after it and she looked like she was in terrible pain. Bella was being tortured by only saying his name.

"No."

I answered her simply. Not adding that when I did finally pry myself away from her I was going to hunt him down and make him see that I was right. I planned on making him see Bella like this, how she struggled with his name and how the very thought of me leaving her was sending her into hysterics. He would soon know that I had been there, he could count on it. She was miserable. She was tortured and so was he. Edward was going to stop this now. There was no way around it. I was thinking all this when her words broke through my train of thought.

"He's not with Carlisle and Esme?"

Bella's words seemed more like a statement even though it came in the form of a question. She knew him and us so well.

I tried to smile.

"He checks in every few months," from his lovely spider filled attic.

"Oh"

That one word did something to Bella's face. I remembered he told her that he didn't want her any more. He had lied to her, lied to save her as he put it. It had nearly killed Edward to do it and tore him apart when she so easily believed it. I didn't believe him, but here was the proof.

"You said you flew here…" Bella was ready to stop torturing herself, nice change of topic.

"Where did you come from?"

"I was in Denali. Visiting Tanya's family."

Then I happened to see you jump off a cliff and raced back here as quick as I could.

"Is Jasper here? Did he come with you?"

I shook my head. I hated disappointing her. She sounded hopeful, she missed all of us. I think that that would make them happy to know she did not so easily forget her family that loved her. I needed to get a hold of Jasper soon. I couldn't forget I need to tell them that Bella was alive. Not okay, but alive. Right now though she was my main focus.

"He didn't approve of my interfering. We promised…" I was about to say his name but I didn't want to see that agonized expression on her face again. Once was enough.

I then heard the sound of the police cruiser. Charlie was home and he was about to find out that I have come to visit. I hope he was as warm to me as Bella was.

"And you think Charlie won't mind my being here?" I asked, I was worried that he would throw me out. Demand that myself and my family leave Bella alone. It wouldn't be so far off, it would be less that we deserved.

"Charlie thinks you're wonderful, Alice."

She sounded sincere. However, that was before we left Bella to become this frail and tortured girl.

"We, we're about to find out."

She seemed to catch on pretty quickly and jumped up to open the door. I braced myself for the worse. I had always like Charlie.

Charlie looked so sad. He and his daughter seemed lost in grief. I sensed his was a bit fresher and did not run as deep as Bella's. It still made me sad to see him so broken.

Bella walked up to him and gave him a hug. He hugged her back like he was holding on to her for dear life.

"I'm so sorry about Harry, Dad."

"I'm really going to miss him," Charlie mumbled.

"How's Sue doing?"

"She seems dazed, like she hasn't grasped it yet. Sam's staying with her.. Those poor kids. Leah is just a year older than you and Seth is only fourteen."

Charlie looked so sad, it was then he started to come to the door. I wondered whether I should just pop out or give Bella a chance to explain first.

"Um, Dad? You'll never guess who is here." I got my answer.

Charlie looked at Bella and then looked around. He saw the car. I decided then to let him see it was me. I didn't think he'd be so friendly otherwise.

"Hi Charlie," I said as I stepped in the doorway. I wasn't as perky or upbeat as he was used to. It wasn't appropriate. "I'm sorry I came at such a bad time."

I was truly sorry I'd even come. I was pretty sure Bella would be worst because of it.

"Alice Cullen? Alice is that you?"

He stared at me as if I was an illusion. The same way Bella had.

"It's me. I was in the neighborhood."

Or something like that.

"Is Carlisle…?"

"No, I'm alone."

Charlie was just as protective of Bella as ever. He was almost as protective as Edward. I thought of the irony that Charlie and Edward were now trying to protect Bella from the same thing. Edward. I knew that is what Charlie was really asking when he asked about Carlisle. He was asking about Edward. Charlie's grip got tighter around Bella.

"She can stay here, can't she? I already asked her."

"Of course. We'd love to have you Alice."

It was good to know that I was still in Charlie's good graces after all this mess. He seemed to look at me with genuine warmth. If anyone would know how bad Bella had been when we left, he would. I would find out another thing to tell Edward when I hunted him down. Enough was enough, I wanted my Bella back.

"Thank you Charlie, I know it's horrid timing." Charlie smiled a bit at me.

"No, it's fine, really. I'm going to be really busy doing what I can for Harry's family; it will be nice for Bella to have some company."

That was reassuring. However, Charlie did seem weary of Bella and me spending some time together. I had a suspicion he was worried for the same reason I was.

"There's dinner for you on the table, Dad." Bella told him and directed him to some left over meal on the table.

"Thanks, Bell." He gave her a quick squeeze and I headed back over to the sofa.

Bella followed be back and I pulled her close to me. She looked so exhausted. She needed to sleep.

"You look tired," I stated the obvious.

"Yeah, near-death experiences do that to me…So, what does Carlisle think of you being here?"

"He doesn't know He and Esme were on a hunting trip. I'll tell him in a few days when I get back." I hated lying to Bella, but I had to find some way to fix this. I had really messed up. I had left Carlisle and Esme grieving a daughter. Now I had to tell them just kidding, however she's dying slowly on the inside. It didn't seem helpful. Bella would find some way to blame herself for that. She didn't need to know that. I was also starting to think that finding Edward and letting him know how bad it was may just do more harm to her. Plus, it wouldn't be a pleasant experience for me either.

"You won't tell _him_, though when he checks in again?"

Edward.

Bella didn't want him to think she wasn't doing the one thing he asked her. To take care of herself, don't do anything reckless, and basically go back to being a happy human. It was the one thing she thought Edward wanted from her and she was failing. She didn't want him to know. How could I go and show him she was, in her opinion, failing at what he wanted from her? This was so tangled and messed up.

"No. He'd bite my head off."

I had very grimly come to the decision of hiding this for as long as possible.

She laughed once and sighed. She needed to sleep. She was fighting it. Finally as she rested on my shoulder she drifted to sleep. Charlie had disappeared upstairs and I slid from Bella and laid her down on the makeshift bed. I wrapped the blankets around her.

I spent the night staring out into the dark of Forks, wishing I could see a solution. I couldn't see one. Instead I could see Edward. He was still staying motionless in that attic. He looked horrible. He hadn't hunted in what seemed like forever. He just laid there with his eyes closed fighting with himself. Every once in awhile him returning to Bella would pop up as a possible future. He was wavering.

Maybe I wouldn't have to tell him.

Maybe he'd break before then.

I thought this all over and I looked at Bella. She looked so small.

"Edward, you idiot. Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

The hours passed and Charlie woke up early.

_Time to find out how badly we broke her._


End file.
